The Green Eyed Monster

Theodore Roosevelt said “Comparison is the thief of joy.” This week in my classes I have been focusing on achieving “your personal best.” Meaning, instead of compairing yourself to others, you look inward, dig deep and give it what YOU have. To compare yourself only to yourself. This is easier said than done.

I have green eyes and my mom used to call jealousy the “green eyed monster.” Hey could she be talking about me? And the truth is I find myself in the trap of comparison and jealousy a lot. A few weeks ago, I got news that a friend got a promotion in a prestigious organization and is moving to a location I have always dreamed of living. While I was happy for her, I couldn’t help looking at my own life and feeling inferior– In the middle of a divorce, trying to sell my house and reinvent myself I felt like I was light years behind where I should be. Did you catch that “should”– one of my least favorite words. Because you see, its all about perspective. If I really look at my situation, I have a great life. I am working my dream job, helping others through Pilates and Health coaching. I have accomplished my goal of writing a book and am working toward my goal of creating an online course. I have a nice house and I am looking to upgrade. I have two sweet, beautiful and healthy little boys that I get to spend plenty of time with each day. I am healthy and fit and I have all the material things I need. So why let comparison steal my joy and what should I do about it?

Instead of letting comparison get me down, I am using it to teach me something about myself. What is it about my friends news that stirred up jealousy in me? Is there something I am looking to accomplish, is there something I am yearning for but don’t have? How can I make my life into one that I would envy? What actionable steps can I take to achieve that life? I have also found it helpful to focus on the positives in my life and the things I am grateful for. It is so easy to get into a negative thought pattern so each time I find myself in one, I force myself to see the positive and try to think of something I am grateful for in that moment. And you know what? I have seen a huge improvement in my habit of comparison and jealousy.

With the prevalence of social media, it is so easy to get trapped in the cycle of comparison and  jealousy. But instead of letting comparison be the thief of your joy, try my tips: think of the positive things you ave going on in your life and come up with some actionable steps that will move you closer to what you desire.

Do you find yourself falling in to the comparison/jealousy trap? How do you get yourself out?

XOXO

Valerie

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